


the breadsticks meme

by darth_stitch



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson Friendship, Coulson Ships Stucky, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Mutual Pining, NOTPs, Sam Wilson is a Gift, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov Friendship, The Godfather - Freeform, The Godfather references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-12 04:20:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4465256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darth_stitch/pseuds/darth_stitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the best breadsticks in New York are from Mama Corleone's, Steve Rogers goes on a series of disastrous dates until Bucky Barnes finally gets his own head out of his ass.   They're both lucky their friends all love them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the breadsticks meme

**one**

 

Fact:  the best breadsticks in New York are from Mama Corleone’s. 

The restaurant wasn’t around in Bucky’s time, but he _had_ the honor of trying the original breadsticks baked by the _real_ Mama Corleone.  Which basically happened because Don Corleone had a genuine soft spot for Steve. 

It was kind of touching that one of the Corleone grandchildren managed to carry on the family recipes. 

But anyway, Bucky was pretty surprised when Steve laid a paper-napkin wrapped bundle of Mama Corleone breadsticks on his lap.  

“What happened to your date?”

Steve’s expression could be in the dictionary under _miserable._   “Nat told me she loved cosplay, but seeing her dressed up as Peggy…. “

Bucky winced.

“… so I told her I gotta go save the world again and grabbed the breadsticks and brought them home to you.”

“Steve, you didn’t.”

“They’re really good breadsticks.”

“Your mama raised you to be a gentleman, Rogers.  At least send her apology flowers!”

Steve did.  But there was definitely no second date in the offering.

* * *

 

**two**

 

The thing was, Bucky explained away the funny fluttery feelings in his stomach as gas or maybe the result of years of eating nothing but HYDRA’s nutritional sludge.  It totally had _nothing_ to do with the fact that he felt the _exact_ same way when he first saw Peggy Carter in that hot red dress, with all of her considerable attention solely on Steve. 

Yeah.  Gas.  He tells Steve he looks good in that blue shirt that brings out his eyes and _for Chrissakes Steve, wear actual jeans that make your ass look good, it’s the 21st century already, get yourself out of khaki hell._

Bucky’s in the middle of watching _The A-Team_ when Steve comes home.  With the breadsticks.

“So what happened?”

“She’s an anti-vaxxer, Buck.”

“What. The. Fuck.”

“She actually wanted _me_ to endorse the whole anti-vaccination movement – “

“Ahahahahahaha, your Mama would’ve given her hell - it’s a fucking miracle you didn’t catch polio with all your other health shit – “

“ – and remember Sam’s niece had to be sent to her grandma’s because she was too young to get the measles vaccine?”

Steve ended up sharing the breadsticks with Bucky while they watched more episodes of the A-Team. 

God help them, Steve had a _near_ perfect impression of Colonel Hannibal Smith.  And naturally, he was _inspired_ by one of the good Colonel’s plans during their next mission.  It was a good plan - it didn’t get them all killed. 

Bucky _did_ get sore at the idiot for putting himself in harm’s way to save _Bucky’s_ sorry ass though.

* * *

 

**three**

 

Sam Wilson was a gift.

Sam Wilson was an angel sent down from on high probably because the Good Lord must have despaired at Bucky being outnumbered in the specific task of Making Sure Steve Rogers Does Not Get Himself Killed Because He’s A Fucking Idiot™.

Natasha Romanoff was _not_ a member of Bucky’s team because the woman aids and abets Steve in all his shenanigans and even goddamn encourages him.  So nope.  Totally not Team Bucky. 

Also Sam bakes the best chocolate chunk cookies in the world - a skill he apparently picked up from Mama Wilson.

“Oh look, it’s a pity party,” Natasha observed.

“Fuck off, these are the greatest cookies in the known universe,” Bucky fired back.  “And what the hell kinda pity party you talking about?”

“Natasha,” Sam warned. 

“The one where the smell of pining is so overpowering.”

“…”

“You need to get your act together, Barnes,” Natasha continued.  “Put on the charm and snag your super soldier for yourself before someone snaps him up for you.  I mean, this date could be it and you'll lose your chance forever – “

“This from the woman who didn’t catch on that Steve’s actually bisexual until Steve finally came out and said it to all of us.”  Sam was a brave, brave man. 

“You can’t kill Sam with your thighs, Natashenka,” Bucky warned.  “He’s under my protection.  Also, I’m not pining.  Not over Steve.” 

“I guess the Nile’s pretty great to swim in this time of year…”

It was kind of lucky that Steve did not witness the epic Nerf battle that followed after this, which eventually pulled in Clint Barton.  Steve basically came in like that guy with the pizza entering the room that was on fire a.k.a. that GIF that was going all over the internet.

Except that instead of pizza, he had breadsticks.

Natasha pouted at him.  “Aw, Steve.  It didn’t work out?”

Steve rolled his eyes.  “He’s a _meninist,_ Natasha!"

"Darn," Still with the pouting from Nat.  Anyone with half a working brain would be rightly _suspicious_ at that expression. "I thought I heard _feminist."_  

In the meantime, Steve was practically flailing. "Also, he was so caught up talking all about himself that he didn’t even notice me _leave_.  With the breadsticks.”

Sam fistbumped him.  “Mama Corleone’s breadsticks are the greatest.”

Steve shared the breadsticks with all of them.  Clint was not allowed to hog the breadsticks.

Yes, Sam Wilson was a goddamn gift.  Natasha certainly was _not._

* * *

 

**four**

 

The following conversation happened, because Namor the so-called Prince of Atlantis was a fucking douchecanoe.

“Apparently, Captain Rogers, you’re the only one that Namor - quote unquote - finds worthy of respect.  It’s only one date…. for the sake of mutual understanding between land and sea-dwellers.”  To his credit Director Coulson looked absolutely miserable saying this bullshit. 

“It’s because AC ships Stucky,” Skye stage-whispered.

Bucky must’ve missed out on some new 21st century slang because everyone else winced or slanted covert looks in his and Steve’s general direction.  At least Steve looked equally confused.

Natasha just gave the ornate chest full of black pearls a disdainful look.  “Tacky.”

“Hey, if you really want to go for fabulous, rich and handsome, we can always claim _we’re_ dating!” Tony chirped brightly.

Everyone facepalmed.

“We’re not going to force Steve into anything he doesn’t want to do.”  There was a _reason_ why Bruce Banner was on Bucky’s good side. 

“Verily,” Thor agreed.  “Though the Prince claims he shall conduct himself like a gentleman, I trust him not.  But be advised - the acceptance of his gift does not mean _you_ accept _him_ in any way.  ‘Tis but an overture - an extravagant one to be sure, but naught to worry about.”

“Apparently, when he gives you the chest of _different pearl varieties,_ that’s the marriage proposal one,” Jane volunteered.  “But I’m not an anthropologist - even if somehow I got roped into this!”

“He’s _still_ pretty tacky,” Natasha insisted.

"He reminds me of that guy in that terrible Twilight rip off.  BDSM does not work that way," Wanda said brightly.

Everyone stared at her.  Except for Vision who simply added, "The key words are safe, sane and consensual."

Pietro sort of saved things.  "My sister loves to read everything.  And I mean _everything."_  

“I’ll lend you my taser,” said Darcy.  "No sane, sensible person wants a Christian Grey in their lives.  We'd rather have a Steve Rogers!" 

Steve blushed.

"Awww, doll, that's sweet," Bucky told her. 

“Maybe one of us - like _Bucky_ \- for example, could function as a chaperone,” Sam suggested.  Yes.  Another reason why Sam Wilson was a gift from heaven above. 

“I’d do it - but only if I can bring Tallulah,” Bucky said with a smile that was entirely too sharp and just on the right side of fang-y. 

Steve, because Steve was an idiot and Coulson _knew_ precisely the correct words and the right amount of guilt-tripping to apply (even if said Not Dead SHIELD Director hated doing it) eventually agreed.

Yes, Bucky brought Tallulah.  Technically speaking, he chaperoned Steve while being on the other side of Tallulah’s beautiful scope, even if he was made to promise _not_ to actually shoot out Namor’s brains, unless he was actually going to hurt Steve. 

Which was why he was witness to this beautiful scene.

Steve threw breadsticks at Namor’s face and stormed out.

“He insulted _you_ , Bucky,” Steve said afterwards, still seething.  “Called you an unworthy companion and that once we were married - as if I even _wanted_ to date him in the first place - you would be _forbidden_ to be in my presence.”

“I’m surprised you threw breadsticks instead of a punch,” Bucky told him.

“I didn’t want to be banned from Mama Corleone’s - I _like_ their breadsticks.”

Steve actually still managed to stuff some in his pocket and the two of them ended up sharing it over some leftover pasta.

* * *

 

**an intervention with sam who does have a life beyond playing therapist to these two dumbasses, but he is a good friend so he is currently listening to bucky now.  karma, however, will reward him because after this, he will walk out the door and meet a very lovely lady who he will end up dating and there will be no breadstick packing or throwing involved.  all blessings on sam.**

 

All right, the first step was admitting to the Problem, right?

So Bucky Barnes had a Problem.  Currently, said Problem was six foot odd instead of the former five foot adorable, but he still had that ridiculous floofy fluff of blonde hair, still had the same gorgeous blue eyes and an ass that begged to be handled like precious treasure. 

His problem was named Steven Grant Rogers and Bucky had been pining over him for the past seventy odd years.  Loved him quite possibly even before they were even born and he’d already carried that love beyond death and all that poetic crap, except that it was, essentially, the truth. 

_Fuck._

So he’d _finally_ admitted it.  Is it okay to run like hell now?

“Well, that’s a choice for you,” Sam said carefully. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be encouraging, doing some sort of therapy talk pop psychology bullshit?”

“Well, yeah, sure,” Sam said easily.  “But you already know that.”

“I’m an ex-assassin with scrambled eggs for brains, blood on my hands and a guaranteed place in hell – “ 

“– and so, you think that Steve deserves better, so you’ll just stay his friend, because Steve is a stubborn shit like that but that’s all it’s gonna be?”

“It sounds so reasonable in my head but why does it sound different when _you_ say it?” Bucky complained.

“Maybe you ought to consider giving _Steve_ his choices too.”

* * *

 

**five  
**

 

This was _not_ a date.

Saturdays were pretty much set aside for Steve and Bucky just to hang out, get caught up on the 21st century and have fun while they were at it.  Contrary to Popular Opinion (read: Tony), the two of them were not off playing bingo, bridge or canasta. 

There is no such thing as friendship while playing Mario Kart. 

Bucky _totally_ was not adding to Steve’s ever-growing and inexplicable collection of Bucky Bears (apparently, he received a lot of these as presents from fans and most were given away to sick children).  He totally did _not_ show off at Coney Island just to get Steve his newest Bucky Bear.

He was also totally not warmed down to his toes at the sparkle in Steve’s eyes upon being presented with the Bear.

“You know I’m keeping this one, right?” Steve said.  “Because it’s from you?”

“It’s our firstborn cub,” Bucky answered.  “We’ll get more kids as soon as this one celebrates his first birthday.”

And New Bucky Bear was pretty much sitting in his own seat - because he was big enough for it - at Mama Corleone’s. 

Shit.  This was totally a date.

“You’re not going to grab the breadsticks and run out on me, are you?” Bucky asked, as they were served. 

“Well,” Steve said, with the oddest expression on his face.  “It totally depends on your reaction to this.”

And with that, Bucky felt a brief, sweet touch on his lips - so light that he thought that he had hallucinated Steve actually leaning over and _kissing_ him.

Steve had the breadsticks in one hand; he was all flushed and obviously poised to run. 

Nope.  He wasn’t going anywhere. 

Bucky tugged at the hand holding those breadsticks.  “Steven Grant Rogers.  You put those breadsticks down and give me some sugar.  _Properly_.”

The second kiss was a lot more successful.  Kisses were interrupted by the arrival of the pasta dishes, which were devoured in short order, because they were both super soldiers and they were going to need all that energy.

Bucky lost count of how many kisses were shared when they got home.  He did, however, finally manage to get his hands on that ass, which, as he told Steve between gasps and moans, was as beautiful as the rest of Steve’s everything.

Also, beard burn acquired during morning sex, looked equally good on Steve.

No, Tony, you can’t invent Stark Industries Brain Bleach™.  

_\- end -_

**Author's Note:**

> It occurred to me that I’ve never properly written a Stucky fic in which the boys were _not_ together in WWII and that they were both essentially pining until the 21st century.  This was my attempt to fix that.
> 
> Also, since I somehow managed to [contribute to the breadsticks meme](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/123989658861/steve-rogers-on-a-date-how-do-you-feel-about), I figured I might as well fic it all the way!


End file.
